*peeps round from behind the curtains…*
So this is a little awkward.
I know we have definitely been here before.
More than once, twice, three times…
I don’t really know what to say except that I’m happy that you’re here.
Reading despite my empty promises to be consistent with this blog.
I have many reasons but no excuses.
It’s not even like I stopped writing. Well.. actually I did stop for a while. Other days, I wrote but I felt like what I wrote didn’t make much sense outside of the four corners of my mind so I decided not to share
I can confirm that I’m alive and well, thriving in my own little vip section of the World Wide Web.
We’re kicking it off like this…
I live in Dagenham.
If you are a fellow D Town citizen, you’ll know there are a few things that you will always find there.
1. Chicken shops. There’s no shortage of chicken wings and chilli sauce. If you take a breath deep enough, you can smell deep fat fryer grease from the platforms of Dagenham Heathway station
2. Foxes. These lot run the ends. You can easily get caught slipping at 3 am on Porters Avenue on your ones by an opp in an orange fur coat. I miss the days they used to get ducked down by old fat yt guys in tweed coats on Sunday afternoons. #The GoodOldDays #PETA #RSPCA
3. Odd neighbours. London is probably the only place in the world that you can live right next door to someone and only see them 3 times in 6 months. Out of that 3 times, you will say good morning once, the other two times the only reason you’re chatting to them is because they took in your amazon parcels for you while you were out at work.
DTown however is still a bit old school. We actually say good morning to each other, stop and talk about the weather and still have a milkman drop pints of fresh milk in glass bottles to the front door.
On the road next to mine, there’s a big white house.
I used to walk past there almost every single day and I’d see this lady cleaning.
They have large windows and the curtains are almost always drawn open, framing the view of their stunning living room. You can tell that they are a very VERY houseproud family.
I promise you everyday I walked past their home, the lady was cleaning something. Wiping down the mirrors, dusting off the mantle piece, scrubbing stains from the floor, touching up the perfectly manicured front lawn, plumping her plush pillows.
Or she was outside hosing down the car and raking autumn leaves from the path.
This lady never spoke to me. Not even a good morning. None of her family did. (They still don’t really tbf..)
But because they always had their windows open, I knew when things were happening in their lives…
like when their daughter graduated, and when they switched from carpet to laminate flooring, got new dog (who Is the epitome of bad vibes btw), and the birth of their first grandson…
You’re probably thinking… “where is this story going G?”
Relax. I’m getting to it.
Anyway, after some time, I noticed that the lady wasn’t cleaning every day anymore… it reduced to every other day, then just on Saturdays when her hubby was home. She started to look tired and sad… and often in the evenings I’d catch her watching TV instead of propping pillows and dusting the coffee table
Then she started to wear a scarf around her head… at first I didn’t think anything of it…
I went away for uni and came back.. continuing to bop past going about my business
Until one day it occurred to me that I had stopped seeing her through her living room window all together.
The living room still immaculate. Still the same pictures on the walls, the same laminate floors and Grey corner sofa.
I walked past on a Friday evening and there was a picture of her on the mantle piece, a lit candle and white lilies.
She sadly passed away.
I assume from cancer but because I didn’t speak to the family, I felt it would be improper to ask.
You might be full of energy ready to go for the new decade, vision board plastered to the walls
Gymming at 5am 5 days a week and feeling full of excitement for the year to come
Or maybe by now you’re ticking through all the resolutions you’ve broken… you’re avoiding signing into your online banking because you know you were spending like Dangote is your dad over the festive period and swiping through every “new year new me” post increases the weight of anxiety sitting in your chest.
Something about January can sometimes feel a bit bleak…
Not to be a Debbie downer – but life is so short. It’s fragile. And fleeting.
It’s beautiful and ugly. And you never know what the person next to you is dealing with.
In the midst of “getting your ish” and living your best life… stop you appreciate the little things. Ask others if they are okay.
Love relentlessly while you can.
Forgive… even those that don’t deserve it.
Because you never know when you’ll clean your home for the last time.
I wish you all a great year ahead…
till next time my G’s